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From GitBox <...@apache.org>
Subject [GitHub] [incubator] johnament commented on a change in pull request #77: Update press-kit.ad
Date Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:12:41 GMT

johnament commented on a change in pull request #77:
URL: https://github.com/apache/incubator/pull/77#discussion_r548032124



##########
File path: pages/guides/press-kit.ad
##########
@@ -20,24 +20,25 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 
 == Apache Incubator Graphics
 
-This page contains various graphical assets that are intended to be used by Apache Incubator
podlings and their communities.
-The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service marks, and graphic
logos. You can read our link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy]
that addresses allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+This page contains various graphical assets that Apache Incubator podlings and their communities
can use.
+The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service marks, and graphic
logos. Our link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] addresses
allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+
 The Apache Incubator provides two main types of graphic:
 
 - Incubator Graphics - the official Apache Incubator logo
 - “Powered By” Apache Incubator Logos - to be used by Apache Incubator podlings
 
-Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official project logo
on their homepage. The best place to ask for a copy of a project logo is on their dev@ mailing
list.
+Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official project logo
on their home page. The best place to ask for a copy of a project logo is on the podling's
dev@ mailing list.
 
 == Downloadable Graphics
 
 This section contains downloadable graphics of the Apache Incubator logo.
 
-REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF, and must not be used without
appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. Please see our formal Trademark Policy
for more details. In particular, as a vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent
governance to all Apache projects, you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure
it's clear that it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
+REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF. You must not use them without
appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. See our formal Trademark Policy for more
details. We are a vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent governance to all
Apache projects, so you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's clear that
it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.

Review comment:
       I think the passive here "and must not be used" is on purpose, it makes it clear that
no one should use without attribution/permission.

##########
File path: pages/guides/press-kit.ad
##########
@@ -20,24 +20,25 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 
 == Apache Incubator Graphics
 
-This page contains various graphical assets that are intended to be used by Apache Incubator
podlings and their communities.
-The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service marks, and graphic
logos. You can read our link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy]
that addresses allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+This page contains various graphical assets that Apache Incubator podlings and their communities
can use.
+The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service marks, and graphic
logos. Our link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] addresses
allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+
 The Apache Incubator provides two main types of graphic:
 
 - Incubator Graphics - the official Apache Incubator logo
 - “Powered By” Apache Incubator Logos - to be used by Apache Incubator podlings
 
-Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official project logo
on their homepage. The best place to ask for a copy of a project logo is on their dev@ mailing
list.
+Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official project logo
on their home page. The best place to ask for a copy of a project logo is on the podling's
dev@ mailing list.
 
 == Downloadable Graphics
 
 This section contains downloadable graphics of the Apache Incubator logo.
 
-REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF, and must not be used without
appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. Please see our formal Trademark Policy
for more details. In particular, as a vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent
governance to all Apache projects, you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure
it's clear that it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
+REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF. You must not use them without
appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. See our formal Trademark Policy for more
details. We are a vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent governance to all
Apache projects, so you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's clear that
it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
 
 === Official Incubator Logo
 
-This is the latest version of the Apache Incubator logo, as launched in March 2017. This
logo is to be used on ALL podling pages during the incubation process.
+This is the latest version of the Apache Incubator logo, as launched in March 2017. Use this
logo on ALL podling website pages during the incubation process.

Review comment:
       This new verbiage doesn't read well to me.  Perhaps "This logo must be used on ALL
podling websites..."




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